Friends, relationships, suicidal maniacs...
Have you ever noticed how you have a love-hate relationship with most friends and family members? It's never more clear than when friends of yours go through a break up and then start accusing you of taking sides. Why do you have to choose a side? Why can't they both still be your friends? Even if you can't go out with both of them at the same time it shouldn't stop you from hanging out with both of them individually.
It can spill out onto other relationships too making the whole thing into a mess. This can be aggravated even further by people turning around and either in private or in public they start talking about committing suicide. I know it sounds a little callous here but I've dealt with people who are suicidal more than once and most of the time they don't talk about they just try. Either they succeed or the fail. Sometimes they try and commit suicide and then phone you because they're scared and sometimes you can then help them and save them, but sometimes no matter what you do you can't help them. So when people play the suicide card as a bargaining chip it starts to irritate me beyond belief. I know I should be sympathetic. Indeed, part of me is sympathetic but there's that little bit of me that just wants to shout at them and tell them to sort it out themselves instead of dumping everything on me. Why should I be someone that even total strangers feel they can tell me their life stories and expect me to give them help or advice??? Do I give off some kind of signal saying "come to me, I can solve all your problems, I can be trusted" or something? I don't mind it all the time but sometimes it becomes too much...I have my own problems, my own depression, my own psychosis.
Anyway back to my current rant and why I feel some people may consider me to be a bitch but at times I'd prefer they either commit suicide or quit whining about it. O.K. so you want or need some attention, that's fine, but just ask for it. Simply ask to talk, say you're feeling a bit depressed, don't start doing this whole "I'm going to commit suicide, my life is hell and nobody cares, ANGST!" thing. It doesn't impress me, it doesn't make me want to help, it certainly doesn't make me feel like talking to you. I will anyway, it's part of my nature, I can't deny people who ask for help - still I can feel part of myself shrink from you, my friend, and I hate myself that little bit more because of it.
It can spill out onto other relationships too making the whole thing into a mess. This can be aggravated even further by people turning around and either in private or in public they start talking about committing suicide. I know it sounds a little callous here but I've dealt with people who are suicidal more than once and most of the time they don't talk about they just try. Either they succeed or the fail. Sometimes they try and commit suicide and then phone you because they're scared and sometimes you can then help them and save them, but sometimes no matter what you do you can't help them. So when people play the suicide card as a bargaining chip it starts to irritate me beyond belief. I know I should be sympathetic. Indeed, part of me is sympathetic but there's that little bit of me that just wants to shout at them and tell them to sort it out themselves instead of dumping everything on me. Why should I be someone that even total strangers feel they can tell me their life stories and expect me to give them help or advice??? Do I give off some kind of signal saying "come to me, I can solve all your problems, I can be trusted" or something? I don't mind it all the time but sometimes it becomes too much...I have my own problems, my own depression, my own psychosis.
Anyway back to my current rant and why I feel some people may consider me to be a bitch but at times I'd prefer they either commit suicide or quit whining about it. O.K. so you want or need some attention, that's fine, but just ask for it. Simply ask to talk, say you're feeling a bit depressed, don't start doing this whole "I'm going to commit suicide, my life is hell and nobody cares, ANGST!" thing. It doesn't impress me, it doesn't make me want to help, it certainly doesn't make me feel like talking to you. I will anyway, it's part of my nature, I can't deny people who ask for help - still I can feel part of myself shrink from you, my friend, and I hate myself that little bit more because of it.
posted by the-mental-one at 2:10 pm
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